While a lot of people have started discussing BDSM in open and have formed their opinion on the said activity, there are only a few who actually know what this is all about. Even if we leave out the nitty gritty details of the activity as such, there are only a few who even know what does BDSM actually stands for. While most of the people think that BDSM is all about submission and dominance, it actually also involves, bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M).
Bondage: As the name suggests, bondage is basically restraining one of the partner by the other with the help of certain tools such as ropes, which is intended for the pleasure of both.
Discipline: Just like our normal life, discipline is also very important in sexual life as well. There are certain rules and regulations that are pre decided and agreed by both the partners and are used during the activity as a form of punishment.
Dominance: The act of dominance includes one partner dominating the other (with consent), where they have full control over the actions of the other. This relationship of dominance may or may not restrict to their sex life.
Submission: The submissive derives pleasure from following the orders of the dominant. It may seem like the submissive have no or zero say in it, but it is quite contrary. The submissive always have more power/say in such conditions and is always under control over whatever happens to them.
Sadism or masochism or sadomasochism: This is a part of BDSM where one of the partner derives pleasure by inflicting pain and the other by receiving it. This is one of the most intense sexual play and may involve hitting, pulling, pinching or any other form of physical harm that has been consented between the partners. Consent plays a really important part in it. It is important that both the partners are on the same page and know that they can stop whenever they feel like.
It is very important to understand that there is nothing wrong or damaged or unusual about people who into such activities. People who prefer vanilla sex are no different than the ones who are into BDSM. It should simply be considered as a lifestyle that certain people choose to be in. The myth that revolves around BDSM is that it has something to with childhood trauma or violence that has led people to be this way is completely wrong. No special circumstances are required for people to be interested in BDSM. It is simply their own choice and their own preference.
Another important aspect is knowing that you always have the power to say NO and will only part take in activities that you have consented for. It is very important that partners who are into BDSM should have healthy communication between them. They should go to lengths about what they want to try and what not. Moreover, just because you have consented to a particular activity on one day does not mean that you have to do it every single day if you are not in mood for it. Remember, you always can say no.
Any relationship that has such power dynamics is solely based on trust. It becomes very important to establish trust between the partners. Even when the dominant is giving out order and the submissive is simply following it, it must be remembered that the control is mostly in the hands of the submissive. They can have an exit or safe word ready at use in case things get too heated up. Them giving up the control and placing it in the hands of the dominant can only happen after trust has been built between them.